By Brianna Austin
|
By Brianna Austin
|
 hat
if it came to light that you really weren’t a woman in spirit? That none
of this transgender life is about “being” a woman in a man’s body,
but rather just thinking you were? And what if that thought (of being and
feeling female) was biologically “hard wired” into your brain? How
would that make you feel? Are
you happy that this can no longer be considered an action of choice, or
does it make you sad knowing that “being wired biologically” means it
is likely something you will never be able to change? Most of us have spent our entire lives wondering,
“What’s wrong with me?” And then after decades of purge and repeat
behavior, mixing shame, guilt and the need to search our soul for the
truth of these internal feelings of self identity, some of us have slowly
learned to accept in ourselves that which society often mocks, or worse,
condemns. If in fact being transgender is a biological trait, like having
blue eyes or blond hair, does that relieve us of this heavy load? Transsexuals, prior to GRS, have often described
themselves as woman trapped in the body of a man. And although I feel the
same way -- and used that explanation as the best analogy to explain what
being transgender felt like -- I still could never reconcile what that
really meant beyond theory in my own mind. When we say, “I am a
woman,” are we referring to the current essence of our soul? Or perhaps
we have the memories from a previous female existence?
Or is our (societies) notion of life and existence simply wrong,
and gender expression merely another form of experience as I suggest in
“And
They Burned Witches Too!” Abstract thoughts like these
fascinate me, and I actively participate in “what if” scenarios all
the time. But beyond the rhetoric of the conversation, what does any of it
mean in the practical sense? I have friends that have transitioned and currently live the fulltime lives of the woman they have become. But were they woman all along? Some say yes, while others say no. Transsexuals (often thought of as those that have
graduated transgender camp) are split in two on the issue and have drawn a
line in the sand. There are two common positions that have been recited to
me repeatedly: 1) Some say that they were transgender woman when they were women living in a man’s body, but post-op no longer are, suggesting that now they are simply women, no different than any other biological woman, and therefore, no longer trans. 2)
Others identify as women, but recognize that the mere fact that
they were born into a male body makes them different from a biologically
born female. For the sake of this article let’s refer to them
both by the acronym “WODO” (Woman of a different origin). A biological female has lived her whole life female.
Beginning from early childhood she evolved through adolescence into
adulthood. Many WODO’s on the other hand simply “become” woman
midstream. Does this make a difference? Some WODO’s will argue that they
have been women since birth, just trapped in a male body due to a cosmic
mistake. Did being predominately male (even if they were just pretending
and playing the part) have an impact on the woman they are to become?
Another position by some WODO’s is that they can never really be 100%
woman (even though they have an almost exact replica of a female body to
accompany their female mind and spirit), because they didn’t have the
life experience of a woman. They certainly are no longer male and
therefore, by default, are transsexual women. It has been theorized for some time that being
transgender and/or homosexual, is something you are born with, not
something you learn, or acquire a taste for (no pun intended.) Recently,
scientific reports are emerging that support these theories, linking
transsexualism to biological conditions that occur during the “hormone
spray,” in the womb. In
1995 Dutch researchers discovered that a structural difference existed
within the brains of men and (M>F) transsexuals. A small cluster of
cells in the brain -- the bed nucleus of the stria
terminalis (BST) – is smaller in transsexuals (as it is in women) than
in men. Most recently researchers announced links between
certain genes and sexual orientation, which it says is also hard wired
into the brain. Perhaps with
the advances of medical sciences, we will come to know for sure the reason
for our actions. So in the future when people say, “How come you are
transgender, we can say guilt free, “Because I was just born that
way.” As
always, be happy, be safe, and think pretty.
© 2004 - Brianna Austin - All Rights reserved |
