By Brianna Austin
|
|
So I decided, the hell
with etiquette, I’m going to give it to you right between the eyes.
The idea takes me back to the days when I
was co-hosting a private dinner party for girls just starting to explore
their feminine selves in the presence of other people for the first time.
These are girls that have been in the closet for 10, 20, even 30 years or
longer. Now, finally, they can resist the urge no longer, and had to make
a choice: come out for a breath of fresh air or suffocate and die alone in
the closet. We’ve all been there,
and the road is so similar that when we here another’s story we could
swear they were telling ours. So there we were, my ho-hostess and I,
waiting for the girls to change in the bedroom and bathroom, and emerge
reborn, and one by one they did. We sat and chatted, had a nice dinner, read some
magazines, told stories and genuinely enjoyed a nice evening. Some girls began
returning repeatedly. Just like many of you can’t wait until Saturday to
let your girl out for the night, these girls awaited Wednesday, a night
they could tell the wife they were “working late,” and enjoy just a
brief moment of heightened female awareness and identity. One particular
girl, let’s call her Cher, was very sweet and we became friends outside
of the weekly girl night, and I had occasions to meet up with “him”
during the week. No, get your mind out of the gutter girls, it wasn’t
sexual: we were friends. At one of our larger
parties, usually hosted on weekends, she had the opportunity to get out of
the house (the wife was away) and attend. She was gushing when she
arrived, and dressed conservative, but elegant: woman’s suit &
matching pumps. But, she was followed, to the dismay of everyone, by a
foul-I-think-I’m-going-to-pass-out stench.
I’m talking potent beyond words. What was I to do I
wondered. I liked this girl, she was a really nice person, and at the
same time, this was intolerable. I
called her over, and said, “Cher honey, you know I like you very much.
And because I like you very much I’m going to tell you what no one else
will: along with your
beautiful outfit … you are wearing a stench that could kill!” There, I
said it, and was relieved in doing so. She however couldn’t
quite comprehend it. So after a quick question or two, I was able to
explain to her. Evidently,
she had kept all of her “girl things” hidden in a box, under her desk
at work (gee, does that sound familiar?), which she used like a closet.
And so, she would dress in the office late at night, go out only to
return everything – clothes, shoes, wig etc – back to the box at the
end of the night. For some reason, just
like when you go into a bathroom, where someone had been before you, you
smell the presence of him or her only as long as it takes to replace it
with a scent of your own. Like
that, the odor that imitated from the clothes and the wig, both of which
she had perspired in many times, could be smelt by everyone except her
--you never smell you own. Garments, and wigs need
to be washed regularly girls. If
you think you can just spray on a little extra perfume, loose the idea: it
only makes matters worse. If you have a wig, get in the shower, or use the
sink, and wash it with a gentle shampoo, and then hang it to air-dry.
You will be amazed at how shiny and healthy it will look
afterwards. And as for clothes, female attire is dainty.
And whether you think so or not, if you wear a dress or a blouse,
with fabric under the armpits, even if you can’t smell it, you are
perspiring in it to some degree. To wear it a second time without having
it washed is a guaranteed mistake. After
all, you can’t just look pretty; you have to also be pretty. As
always, be happy, be safe, and think pretty.
© 2004 - Brianna Austin - All Rights reserved |
