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 he reasons that people have for pursuing romance
in the TG world is as diverse as the people themselves. Are these feelings and
experiences interconnected? Do they have to be? Are they healthy
feelings?Certainly the most common early stage feelings & experiences for
most of us are lust. Even straight couples feel a chemistry early on which comes
from visual stimulus.But a CD-TS can actually get excited by, well, him/herself. As one puts on their panties and bra they feel a warmth move through them. With loving and sexually driven care, they glide their stockings up their leg and swoon in the feel of the nylons against their skin. The heart starts to pound, a little satin here, a little lace there, the foot gently arched into the spiked heels. As the make up is applied and he becomes she, the rush of excitement is overwhelming and oh my god it is over. The consuming urge that had control of your mind, body and spirit has vanished as fast as it came, like a desert wind. Now the clean up. Sound familiar? Most of us have all been there, and for some it is as far as they will ever go. Still others seek further gratification. Remember, we can pursue looking like a woman, feeling like a woman, acting like a woman, and/or being like a woman. They can but do not have to be interrelated. Like I always say, whatever blows your skirt up. You may be someone who can dress the part, act the part and have sex with yourself, and be fulfilled by it. And that is fine if it is what you want. But many seek out interaction with other people. Interactions can happen in many ways as well. Some of us simply need validation in the role of a woman, thus we look for partners to act out our fantasies. This has nothing to do with emotion or passion. It is simply the need to fulfill lust and validation. For those looking for a quick fix, a little action, there are those admirers who will be all too quick to accommodate you, as they too are simply role playing. Just be careful, as your fantasy may be different than your partners. There are many wackos out there so be safe. Don't put your life in danger with a stranger. (practice safe sex!) Use safe sex for sure, and discretion with who you go with and evaluate the circumstances of where you are. Are their people close by? An abandoned warehouse is not a good idea for example. Remember, serial killers look like real nice guys. Everyone on the planet is motivated by gratification, whether it is feeling worthy for donating their time to a cause they believe in, or simply jerking off, we do it because it feels good. It fulfills mind, body or soul. I am not saying that pure gratification is necessarily good or bad for you, that is for you to decide. For true bisexual or bi-curious CDs or TS's, many seem to be drawn to the "relationship zone". This is a place where you want someone to care about "you" in your femme mode. Your femme self is part of you, and in most cases has never been nurtured by anyone but yourself. In addition to sex, or sometimes in place of it, there is a feeling of fulfillment in just being held, loved, pampered and cared about. It is a purely emotional and spiritual thing, and if it is what you seek, it may take you beyond your wildest expectations. Relationships can be tricky however. Straight couples with much less baggage than we carry have trouble with it everyday. Mostly I think it comes down to a few things, communication, chemistry and time in bed. Is it the person you enjoy, or the validation you experience that someone is treating you like a lady? No one says you have to know the absolute truth about everything. Maybe you don't know how you feel, that is O.K. too. Simply be honest about it. So many in the TG world get hurt because of dishonesty, remember we are the kings and queens of deception. We are all human, which means we have needs and are vulnerable to being hurt. God knows we all (CD's & admirers alike) have scars, so lets try not to hurt each other. Be honest with yourself, before you draw someone into a "loving" relationship. So many of us struggle to understand the many conflicting feelings we experience between our male and female personalities. How many enjoy a relationship or sex with a man, yet while walking down the street are still attracted to women? What does that tell you? Maybe nothing, maybe everything. Relationships require a whole lot of communication, honesty and energy. They don't just happen. Sorry, but there's no such thing as a free lunch, as the old saying goes. You can't take another person who loves you and use them just to fulfill a fantasy of yours. Traditional relationships fail everyday because of lack of communication. We, collectively, have a whole other set of ingredients in our broth, but you have to have the main ingredients to make a good stew. When entering a relationship, we talked about communication. But, there are other things that are important as well. Do you have any interests in common, outdoor activities, movies, music, art etc. Are you at least interested? Is the sex good? That seems pretty shallow, but it keeps relationships together. Does he know the "real" you? Can you take your wig off while having sex? He can prefer you as a woman, but needs to acknowledge and recognize that you were still born a man. Many straight couples fail because they are not a good match, but they know that because they have a sense who they are. We, the TG, on the other hand sometimes never quite discover who we are. Thus, what we think is love in a partner, is just a need for validation we feel in playing the role of a woman, and maybe that is enough for us. If you think you are ready to experience romance as a TG, go slow, be honest and take things as they are -- not as you want the to be. Remember that romance is about mind, body and spirit. It is about who you are as much as what you are. As
always, be happy, be safe, and think pretty.
© 2004 - Brianna Austin - All Rights reserved |
