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Tonight,
as I am spending some rare time at our computer, My wife is
asleep or getting there. I have placed myself as if I was going
to bed the Monday night after our snowstorm extended, “First Event 2005,” had
concluded. I am home. I’m in one of my nightgowns that my wife
bought me for Christmas a couple of years ago. My, “sleep
wig,” in on. My stockings and heels are still on and they’re
going to stay on when I slip underneath the covers. My imitation
Tiffany necklace and bracelet are on. Since I have to use a bra
to keep my breasts in place, it is still on. For decades I’ve
always wondered why my wife always wore her panties underneath
her nightgown or pajamas. Mine are on. I’d feel naked if they
weren’t on. Do I know why? You’ve got to be kidding. I
don’t have a clue. However, First Night was, in fact, less
than one month ago, it seems as if it were a year ago and I’m
in the same mood as, “Alvin and the Chipmunks,” as they sang
in July, “…Christmas, Christmas, don’t delay…” I’m
ready for another beautiful First Event. That’s my Christmas.
The
work and preparation that goes into effecting a well-run program
seems endless but so worthwhile as it wields its’ magical
charm on those who attend and bask in the glow and aura of,
”Tiffany’s First Event.” There could never be enough,
“kudos,” offered to the women or girls that donated their
most precious gift to make this week, “happen.” Their gift?
Time. It is
so precious and I know I am so grateful that they did so.
The
first sense of wonderfulness (Is that a real word?) comes from
the simple fact that my nail polish doesn’t have to be wiped
off tomorrow morning. This is one girl that loves her morning
bubble bath. When I see my OPI, “Heart to Heart,” colored
toenails and my, ”Dutch Tulip,” colored fingernails poking
through those snow-white bubbles, I get a serene sense of
happiness. This is also one girl who looks upon shaving one’s
legs as pure enjoyment. My wife thinks I’m nuts. “You
haven’t had to shave them for the past fifty years,” she
once pointed out.
That
probably confirms an e-mail that I received from Transgender
Tapestry’s
Miqqi Alicia Gilbert. It was in reply to an e-mail of mine about
the level of, “comfortness,” that genetic women exhibit
today when dressing. She wrote to me, “…there is a major
difference in wearing heels and having to wear heels….” I guess that there is a difference in
shaving one’s legs and having to shave one’s legs.
However,
I digress. I was writing about the magical effect that First
Event wields upon the attendees. I wrote about my thoughts last
year and the year before, too and I don’t want to be redundant
however there my be some current readers of, “Rosebuds,”
that didn’t see last year’s notes.
My
friend, Brianna Austin, wrote about the, “magic,” of First
Event 2003 for the former, Girl Talk® Magazine. The article is
reprinted in our Tiffany Club’s website.
While
the opportunity to dress everyday is no, “big deal,” for the
genetic female, the, “pre-op,” transsexual fulfilling the
yearlong requirement, or the, “post-op,” woman, it is,
however, a big deal for the cross dresser that I am. (I think
I’m a crossdresser but I’m never sure. I’m still seeking
answers that may never come,) For me it’s always been the
clothes and the shoes. First Event allows me to, “dress,”
for, “24/7,” for seven days. It allows me to wear my
skirt-suits during the day and my dresses at night. I brought
enough shoes to stay for two or three weeks. That, in itself is
a warm magical event. Then there are all the events and programs
during the day. There were programs and seminars for all of us
under the term, “transgendered.” In many cases I would have
liked to have been in two different places at the same time. I
treated myself to three makeovers in three days. My hands are
not as steady as they used to be. Too bad there isn’t a,
“lip and eye,” express makeover station.
The
evening events were excellent. Another great night at the
Theater on Wednesday, a Prom Night on Thursday (and I left my
yellow gown home!) the Traditional Fashion show on Friday and
Saturday’s Dinner-dance, awards and great keynote speaker were
all components of this magical
week. I even had the pleasure of having some breakfast with Ms.
Vera, our speaker, on Monday morning. I used to live in, ‘the
city,” and our daughter was born in Brooklyn and we both went
to parochial schools too. She’s so charming. I was so warmed
that she took some of her time to converse with me.
A
major part of the week for me is the Tiffany sponsored,
“You’re Not Alone,” meeting, This support group meets
twice a month at the club but in January, the, “Third Thursday
of the Month, falls on Friday. The first meeting of the month is
on the third Thursday and the second meeting of the month is on
the first Thursday of the month. Yes – the second meeting of
the month actually occurs before the first meeting. Don’t try
to figure it out. It’s a, “T-thing.” It’s is, “kinda,”
like Yogi saying, “Nobody goes there anymore, it’s too
crowded.” I was so happy and elated that Johanna Shipley, the
facilitator for Y.N.A. received the, “Miss Tiffany,” award
this year. For many years she has been a real, “un-sung,”
hero for Tiffany. There are several girls that are still living
today thanks to Johanna.
Last
year, First Event 2004 found its’ way into LadyLike® Magazine
with the article, “Where did you get that skirt?” Frances
Cardullo took the photos that were used. I was looking for,
“that skirt,” in this year’s fashion show but she wasn’t
there this year. Can I put my hands on that particular issue to
cite the name and issue number? You’ve got to be kidding.
Last
year, my friend, Alanna, had her S.R.S. the Tuesday after the
First Event. I was hoping that she could have joined me this
year, however, her new-found work prevented it from happening.
Last year, she, Sarah, and Barbara and I all had, “some of the
bubbly,” as Bing Crosby would have put it, in my room before
the banquet.
Last
year Barbara, who lives in Woburn, took me to Mass at her home
parish. I placed the lovely roses that I received at
Saturday’s banquet on the, “Mary Altar,” My wife is
allergic to most flowers and I couldn’t take them home. This
year the snowstorm prevented any chance of going out of the
hotel Sunday morning.
This
was my third First Event where I was able to partake of all the
days and nights. The previous time, I only was able to attend
the day session on Friday.
There
is one thread that is interwoven throughout. It’s the people.
There are so many parts of the transgendered world that embraces
us. During this week, everyone is able to bask and blossom in
this world. We are also able to explore, seek guidance, and
become closer to our, “True Selves.”
We
meet some girls that we haven’t seen since last year. We bask
in the radiant happiness that simply beams out from the
enjoyment that some of the girls have and are experiencing.
I
got to see my, “little sister,” again. I met and talked with
some new girls and re-aquatinted myself with more girls
This
is the only time of the year that I get to see and talk with
Christine Becker. We share a love for great coffee.
The
only thing missing this year, for me, is the same thing that has
been missing each year. In the evening, there should be a
cocktail lounge without any television, and without any loud,
pulsating, “music.” There’s only one person that I care to
dance with and she was in the hospital this year and no one was
playing any Glenn Miller music anyway. As at weddings, most
people haven’t seen each other since the last wedding or
funeral. They only want to converse with each other without
shouting. To be in a room, with a cocktail bar and some soft
piano or guitar music in the background would be so nice and
beautiful. We’d talk about what is new in our lives. We’d
get asked questions and would ask others about clothes and
make-up. We’d be able to talk about any of the funny things
that have happened to us while we were, “dressed.”
I’m
sure that almost all, if not all, would love to have this week
never end. However, the work-a-day world has to take over. You
still have to pay the bills. Until late June, I’ll be working
on Tuesdays. So who knows when I’ll get a chance to,
“dress,” again on the outside until the week of the Fancy
Food Show. That’s ten days as Susan in Manhattan. My story of
that week of 2003 appeared in the Innvestment’s newsletter of
January 2004 and my saga of 2004 appears in Brianna Austin’s,
“True Stories,” section of her website although she did
misspell my last name.
My
manager wants to go shoe shopping with me! She loves the
pictures and uttered the same phrase as Stacy, of, “Makeover
Spa,” in Easton did, “You’ve got great legs!” It is so
nice to have a boss that knows about your, “True Self,” and
is okeh with it. Every so often, when I’m looking for
something at work and she finds it in a second after I just
looked there, she winks her eye, smiles, and says, “Don’t
worry. It’s a guy thing.”
These
are just some of my thoughts from First Event. Many, many kudos
to the girls that made it happen. These are the girls that
provide the basis for the aura, the charm, and the magic to
occur.
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