Susan Goes to New York City

 

This past week has been one of mixed emotions. We are now talking of my close friend, Alanna, and myself returning from The Summer Fancy Food Show in Manhattan, where Susan was Susan for 10 days ... in a row. I neither wore nor took any male clothes. I dropped from thee suit cases to two cases. I only took 14 pair of shoes with me instead of 16 pair. However Alanna and I went SHOE SHOPPING. This is not much for a transsexual, in fact, it's the norm. However for a mere, "cross-dresser," it is, "Seventh Heaven." so the first couple of weeks in July, I was on a downward, emotional trend. For those without gainful employment, the realization of, "having to go back to work," would be a, "Godsend," while it's a come-down for those with a job (NOTE: Not a career.) where you can't be yourself. There were many, "sisters," that I sent a note about my wife's, Mary Ellen, tenure in the hospital before I (we) went to NYC. I had, "full blessings," from my better half for Alanna and I to go to Manhattan for the show. I printed out a lot of e-responses that some of you sent to me and took them in to the hospital before left for NYC. She was very much warmed by them all. Thank you all, again! As some of you know, she picked us up from the commuter rail in Brockton (Massachusetts) with a big hug and welcome for both Alanna and myself. Last Monday, when I got home from work, (about 1:30 A.M.) I saw the note that, thanks to a call to, "911," she was back in the hospital again. [Breathing Problems.] (Helen: You and Betty HAVE to give up smoking. You are both too valuable to the world to continue.) [Holly, Barbara, Robyn, Britt, Sarah Anne, ... are you, "hearing?" I love you all so much and care about your well-being. (Aaayah, no one wants to, "hear," from a former smoker. I had my last cigarette in 7th grade. I used to roll my own. They wanted 25 cents in the machines. Lunacy!) She was supposed to come home yesterday, Friday, but she had a relapse and the I.V.'s went back in. I hope she'll be able to come home on Monday or Tuesday. To help supplement my meager income, I'm studying insurance for Primerica. I've got my second of two 10 hour classes tomorrow, Sunday, the 25th. (My granddaughter's [Shannara] 8th birthday. Hence I had swapped to have today, Saturday, off. My relationship with my God is THE most important thing in my life. I couldn't attend the 8:00 A.M. to 6:00 P.M. class on Sunday if I couldn't go to Mass on Saturday. The Almighty woke me up in time to go to the 9:00 A.M. Mass this morning (where I prayed for my wife's recovery) and then after visiting with her, I came home to do some laundry. I was running out of bras and panties and wanted to launder the bag of panties than Mary Ellen gave me in the morning. However, instead of studying, I fell asleep. My loaned book, "Lacey," I got back last Thursday at my manicurist's. It was so heavenly to read it again. It makes me feel warm, snuggly, and good all over; hence I relax and go to sleep. However, my employer called. Jennifer was sick. So, after the 4:00 P.M. Mass I went back into work to help close. (That's two Masses in one day!) I did stop off at Owen O'Leary's for a wine and a, "coffee," or two before arriving home. I also took the backroads home instead of Route 128. Without any traffic, Route 27 took me 63 minutes in 33.1 miles. On Monday, it's going to take me two hours to commute! The D.N.C. is in Boston, which still thinks it is a, "big city." [NOT] It's not if you have to close down train stations and roads. The good ol' D.N.C. (Democrat National Circus.) I thought all the States had primaries. E-mail it in. Too bad Teresa Heinz isn't the presidential candidate. SHE would have my vote in a second. Too bad Nixon isn't alive. Oh! to have Ronald Reagon as president again. THERE was a politician who cared about the people. Teresa Heinz-Kerry would have those misfit humans (the terrorists) on the ground and under her feet in minutes. However, I digress. "Susan," lived again for two and a half more days last week. I attended my first, "Board of Directors," meeting for my beloved Tiffany Club. It was not too different, then when I was the Committee Chairman for Pack 133 and Troop 4 for the B.S. A. I hope I can help the club more than just being a, "Susie Homemaker," when I clean the club for 51 weeks out of the year. I think that Alanna is now a candidate for Sainthood. I know my wife is. Alanna and I roomed together in the Hotel Pennsylvania for 8 days. My wife and I marked 37 years last June. Alanna put up with me for all those days and I'm still living. She does have a Black Belt." The only time I've had a, "Black Belt," is when I change from Dewar's to Johnny Walker Black. For those of you who either came from a different planet for are not well versed in musicology, this Hotel Pennsylvania is the same one whose telephone number Glenn Miller made world famous. [Pennsylvania 6 - 5 Thousand.] Only these days, you need an area code first. I have it on a 78 r.p.m. a 45 E.P., r.p.m. a few cassettes, some, "reel to reel," tapes and even a C.D. or two. I don't want to see a response by anyone asking me who Glenn Miller was. As Casey would say, "you could look it up." Casey is Charles Dillon Stengel who came from Kansas City. (not sure it was K.C. in Kansas or Missouri.) and played for the New York Baseball Giants and managed the New York Yankees and New York Mets. ("Can anyone here, play this game?") I had a wonderful dinner and, "gab-feast," with Bobbi Jean (now Zoë) Parker last Wednesday night. With me having to work most Thursday's and only arriving at our, "You're Not Alone," support group meeting about a half an hour before it's over with, we hadn't had a chance to talk at all. Well, I have to get up in three hours. It still takes me time to get ready. I wear my panties, bras, Camisole, full-slip, garter-belt, and stockings under my work clothes and/or for other outings. It is soooo much fun being a girl. When I get my insurance license I think it'll be under, "Susan's Specialized Services." I'd love to work as Susan. I did for a while at Glamour Boutique for John Warrener. Did he really need the help? No. What he saw was a need for me to work as, "Susan." He provided that avenue for me to build that confidence in myself. I can never thank him enough. When I was recovering from my cancer surgery some three and a half years ago and was checking out the, "Resources," section in LadyLike magazine, I showed John the different, "resources." He suggested that the Tiffany club might be my best bet. It was and it is. I keep asking God to show me the way to be, "Susan," without hurting the one's that I love. Today's gospel reading covers that very question and contemplative thought. All I want is to be able to sit on Jesus' lap with His arm around me. Me, in my pretty, party dress and shoes (Mary Jane's - what else?) looking up at Him and with Him telling me that everything that is going wrong in my life and its' frustrations will be okeh and that He loves me just the way I am. Don't we all! Now, my ol' buddy. Mark Twain once said and wrote this. Bear in mind, Mark Twain was not for any organized religion. However, I quoted Mr. Twain when I gave my Dad's eulogy, "Is it not, perhaps,the reason that we mourn at death and rejoice and birth, that we, are not that person? Love and big, big hugs to all, Susan Pauline Bauer (Brockton, Massachusetts)

As always, be happy, be safe, and think pretty.
Brianna Austin

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