Sometimes we go round and round without making any progress

To be transgender is to be among a minority that challenges the status quo simply by their very existence.  In the last ten years the Internet changed everything, opening a whole new world of communication to transgender people who thought they were alone in the world.

Yet while medical researchers are still exploring the causes of transgender behavior, and activists are fighting for equal rights, it is troubling that within our community myth and misinformation is spreading (as fact) at an alarming rate.

Like many of you I belong to several online forums: places where people exchange ideas, have discussions, and to some extent make friends. What astounds me – no, startles me – is that I've heard statements "as fact" about a broad range of topics from what motivates gays, transsexuals, drag queens, women, and CDs, to what a trans-person can come to expect at different levels of their evolution. And most of it is stereotypical rhetoric, failing to realize that there is a wide spectrum to the word transgender and that not every experience is – or will be – the same.

Because someone has a compulsion as a child to wear mom's clothes and in later life buys their own and continues that practice, doesn't mean they actually understand it. What it does mean is that they understand how it makes THEM feel, no more, no less.  It isn't fact, it isn't truth; it is merely opinion that is subject to change based on their future life experience. Still, many seem to search out headlines and theories to support their pre-adopted positions rather than gathering information and experience first and then rendering an opinion about it at a later date. And challenging their adopted truth brings quick dismissal:  "You just don't get it." In fact, many times some of us do get it because we've been there. We just don't happen to agree.   

There are those that have not explored their own transgender behavior (or others) beyond the bedroom door -- or perhaps an annual transgender social outing – yet continue to make careless statements that they defend with the veracity of a lioness protecting her Pride -- all based on experiences they have never had. This is neither helpful to the individual or the community, and it further confuses an already confused mainstream that we should be educating.

Some are too quick to grasp onto party lines – someone else's story – and repeat them as their own. And you have to wonder if this comes from the impatience to learn the truth of oneself, or if it is motivated  by how they simply want to be perceived. While some may be "A woman trapped in a man's body," or "A man that has a feminine side," there are others that use it as a shield to protect them from being categorized in some other way less attractive in their own mind. But to adopt a false truth and then sprinkle it with your own experience inhibits any legitimate effort to unravel the transgender puzzle.

I'm not suggesting that everyone needs to explore to the depths of their soul. Some know that "this is what I like to do for reasons I can't explain," or "I'm OK with it, happy as a person and content to indulge when I do."  And for them, there is nothing else required.

For those that this article is intended, perpetrating myths and misinformation may protect you from what you don't want to know in the short run, but in the long run it hurts the community as a whole and only delays your own personal self-awareness. So, if you're going to make a statement try to be responsible, because mis-information and myths have a way of spiraling out of control and becoming false truths. 

Until next time, be happy, be safe, and think pretty.

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