There are many ways to see the same picture and with each new angle the perspective can change.

For all the girls who are struggling, feeling unworthy, or ashamed - reach out and you will find that there are many t-sisters who will help carry some of your burden.

Georgia is a closet cross dresser who wrote about how much she admired all the girls that she sees and reads about in the magazines and online, but feared she would never be one of them, and that maybe she didn’t deserve to be.

As Georgia peered out from her closet she saw a world that she admired. The t-girls were pretty, happy, smiling, confident living within a community of nurturing support. However, she questioned whether she belonged because she was unable, ashamed or simply to conflicted to reach out and touch it. In the letter she wrote she said she was waiting for her mailbox to fill up with flames from the angry t-sisters for her comments. I doubt she will get any. 

Here is a secret. The best of those girls you read about and admire were not always free spirited, happy, smiling, baggage free, fashion-correct beings. Most everyone who has reached the heights Georgia described traveled long and sometimes lonely roads to get there. Most important, different environments make it more accessible for some than others. Many had thoughts just like Georgia's. But back in the 80's, and before that, there was no Internet, so those girls felt alone, and afraid, and confused. 

How does one determine if the glass is half empty or half full?

It was during a Thanksgiving evening one night that I sat down to write this column and it still seems relevant today. In a world where conflict is our daily companion, what do we have to be thankful for anyway? Some time ago gender conflict was so deep in the closet that many folks lived there whole lives never exploring who they really are. Today however, in this community made up of cross dressers, transsexuals, she-males and transgender people, we have memories in common and a bond to share. As different as we may be from one to another through our background, social standing, religion, politics, sexual orientation and special interests, our common understanding of what it feels like to be outside of "normal" binds us. The human spirit is supportive when it needs to be, and we are fortunate that as a community we have so many that are so willing to give of their time, energy, experience and love. Growing up, most of us had been taught that men are men, and woman are woman - they behave a certain way, dress a certain way and anything less would be shameful. To that I can only say - bullshit. 

Normal is as normal does. If tomorrow the world woke up and decided gender expression had no boundaries, then we would be normal wouldn't we? If society decided through the ages that is was OK for men to continue to wear makeup and frills with a feminine flair - as they did hundreds of years ago – then "WE" would be normal today. Gender expression is as much a right as freedom of speech or freedom of religion, so try and shake the chains of other peoples concept of normal. It's not easy, I struggle with my own inner conflicts all the time - it is simple action-reaction, and I have to remember all the time that truth is not necessarily what someone else taught me. There have been many ideas proven wrong throughout history. 

The fact that Georgia can be truthful and look at herself honestly, good or bad, puts her ahead of most "normal" people. She is brave and courageous. So many people in society follow the rules, get married, have 2.2 children, a dog, a house, a good job, a retirement plan - and they are miserable. On the other hand, for some, that model works and they find fulfillment in life, and that's good too. But too many people try to fit into the mold sold to them in their childhood, someone else’s concept of who they should be and in the binding structure of it all - suffocate. To be who you are is to breathe. Those that don't, whether in the closet or in public, tend to become angry and frustrated - and miss out on the whole meaning of life – the joy of living and being. 

Don't be afraid to explore who you are. If you are more comfortable in the closet that's fine, but don't beat yourself up over it. You may discover that you should step into the light one day, maybe you will discover you should stay in the closet, or you just might discover that gender I.D. is not the real issue for you at all. 

Keep looking and asking why, to discover your own path, your own truth. And while your looking, take a moment and see the glass half full. Some girls may have better legs, or faces, or hair, or fashion sense, or fluidity, that's true. But don't get caught up in what you see, concentrate on what you feel, because I believe it is your soul that counts. I know many cross dressers that fall short of their goals to be their perfect female illusion, but they are happy just to be who they are. Your heart, your consciousness, your love and your ability to see the beauty that surrounds you everyday is what makes you "who you are". And no one can be a better “you,” than you are right now. What you look like on the outside is just the taxicab that carries "you " around. Try different colors and combinations if you like - but rejoice in "who you are,, the person in the taxicab - and others will join in your celebration.

For all the girls who are struggling, feeling unworthy, or ashamed - reach out and you will find that there are many t-sisters who will help carry some of your burden.

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